


clueless

by oodal (softkyun)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fingering, Kisses, M/M, Multi, embarrassing senpai, handjob, oblivious tsukki, polyamorous karasuno, tsukki sandwich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 13:49:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4265574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softkyun/pseuds/oodal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei knows a lot about a lot of things, or at least that what everyone thinks. One day, Yamaguchi finds out otherwise, and he just can't keep quiet for long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	clueless

**Author's Note:**

> the following was a fill done for br1 of SASO for the following prompt:
> 
> AU where Tsukki is clueless about sex and his wonderful friend/senpai educates him.   
> (it can be several isolated incidents, one group thing, or any of the above really. i just want a flustered french fry.)
> 
> i hope you enjoy and as always feel free to get in touch with me on twitter or wherever you might like!

"What... did you say, Tsukki?"

Tadashi stares at his very good friend with wide eyes, eyes so wide he feels like they're going to pop out of his head at any moment. If he's right - and he thinks he is - he just heard Tsukishima Kei ask him how---

"I said," Kei adjusts his glasses here, a surefire sign of his discomfort, "how do men have sex." The flat tone that he asks this in doesn't fit the content, but even with his deadpan demeanor, Tadashi knows that Kei is flustered. It's there, in the pinkness of his ears and the way that he refuses to meet Tadashi's eyes, and Tadashi is mindboggled with the fact that Kei - who knows every type of dinosaur, can name over half of the streets in Tokyo, and took third year math when they were still in secondary school - doesn't know how guys have sex. Sure, it's not really something that gets discussed in sex ed, but still.

"... Why are you asking??" Tadashi knows that he's done something that Kei hates (unless he does it) by answering a question with a question, but he can't gather his thoughts enough about how to answer Kei until he knows why the tall male is asking this of him. He needs to know what in volleyball's name is going through Kei's head.

Kei narrows his eyes at this, and adjusts his glasses unnecessarily again before saying, "I want to know. Kageyama and Hinata are dating now, and if they figure it out before I know, I will never live it down."

Tadashi doesn't believe it. Kei's a good liar; he doesn't do it often, because blunt honesty is sort of his trademark, but when it concerns himself, he's been known to fib here and there. Tadashi knows this is one now, because Kei always runs his tongue over his lower lip and looks to the right before he lies, and he wants to press Kei on the matter... But if Kei's already this uncomfortable, Tadashi knows that if he pushes him too much, he'll leave.

And Tadashi's a little warm and toasty with the prospect of telling his best friend - and maybe a little more, because he can't help but notice how soft Tsukki's lips look when he licks them like that - exactly how gay (or bisexual, or whatever sexuality they might be that involves them wanting to have sex with other men) sex happens.

Taking a deep breath, he leans in, and begins with the most important lesson: lube and preparation.

By the time he finishes, Kei is so red that he looks like Shouyou's hair, and Tadashi has the telltale stirrings of heat in his lower stomach because he couldn't help but imagine doing all of the things he's been talking about to and with Kei. He leans forward in his chair slightly to hide his discomfort, and props his head up on his elbows at Kei's dining room table, thanking whatever god there is once again that there is no one else at home.

"... I see," There's a weirdly breathy tone to Kei's voice, and he nods again for no reason before he looks away, towards the fridge.

"Want some orange juice?"

Tadashi's brain fizzles and he wonders what is going on in Kei's head, but he gets up for orange juice anyways.

\---

"Suga-san, you don't understand! It was the weirdest thing, we're just sitting down and having after practice animal crackers like we always do, except Tsukki had the ones with the strawberry icing and so did I because he was out of plain for me, and then he asks me how people have gay sex!!"

Koushi wasn't sure what he was expecting when Tadashi approached him, but it certainly wasn't this. He's struggling to grapple with the idea that Kei - straight A, very intelligent Kei - didn't know how men had sex until Tadashi explained it to him. He isn't really bothered that Tadashi knows - they've expressed enough interest in one another, from kissing and some friends-with-benefits fooling around - but he's just so bothered that Kei didn't know.

"Here's the most incredible part, Suga-san."

The third year setter pauses. How, exactly, could this story get any more incredible?

"Tsukki didn't know what lube was."

Koushi thinks his jaw might've only been a couple centimeters from hitting the floor. If that.

\---

"Tsukishima, can we talk after practice?" Koushi glances towards Kei with raised eyebrows, and Kei stares back at him, a towel around his neck as he cools off between practice sets. The boy shrugs, taking a sip from his water bottle, and then replies,

"That's fine. But I'd prefer not to be kept more than five minutes."

Koushi resists the urge to say that he's the vice captain, he will keep him an hour if he wants, but he bites his tongue and smiles warmly at his kouhai.

"Wonderful."

Kei feels weirdly uneasy with the way that Koushi says that, but he ignores the feeling, tosses his towel down, and heads back onto the court.

\---

"Tsukishima! Hold up! You said we could talk, remember?"

Kei glances up from his shoes, his hair still damp from his post-practice shower, and blinks owlishly at Koushi from behind glasses fogged by the heated air of the locker room.

"What." Koushi would be lying if he said it wasn't annoying how Kei's questions came as flat direct statements a majority of the time, but he took a deep breath and sat himself next to Kei anyways.

"Lube," He begins, and before he goes any further, Kei's mouth falls into a perfect little 'o', and he stares at Koushi incredulously. Despite the fact that he's offended by the fact that Tadashi must've slipped details of their conversation to Koushi, the intellectual in him (the uninformed idiot, he thinks sourly) needs to know more about this. How does he not know more about sex? He'd tried reading things online, but people just shoved it in and moaned in the stories, and when he'd found a story about two of his favorite characters from Jurassic Park being gay for each other, he'd stopped reading. 

"What about it...." Kei mumbles, fidgeting on the wooden bench.

"Have you not used it before?"

"No."

Koushi wishes he could tell more of what Kei was thinking, but he can't. All he can tell, however, is that Kei is flustered; his cheeks are splotchy and it's not from his shower or the humid air. Kei is embarrassed, and to tell the truth, Koushi is too, but he's also just beyond belief that a boy with an older brother wouldn't know more about this.

"What happens when you wake up and have to take care of yourself?" Koushi continues on quietly, wondering if Kei has ever used lube or lotion or anything when he masturbates. The idea that he hasn't is terribly frightening, and it also makes Koushi feel phantom aches of soreness in his own groin.

"S-suga-senpai, t-that is, not a question I'm obligated to answer," Kei hates that his voice stammers, hates that he touches his fogged glasses out of habit, and he can no longer make eye contact with his upperclassman.

"Tsukishima, please, I'm... concerned for you, to be honest, if you're masturbating dry that's probably pa---"

"I do it in the shower, now stop meddling, I'm going to kill Yamaguchi, I swear---!"

Before Koushi has a chance to stop him, as he rants and mutters death threats, Kei is out the door, nearly dropping his duffel bag as he leaves.

\---

Kei can't believe that just happened. He can't believe that he was just approached by Koushi, of all people, to address the fact that he didn't use lube when he masturbated. Okay, that explained why he didn't enjoy it unless it was in the shower, but still. Still. What kind of world was this that senpai could come up---

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, TSUKISHIMA!!!!!" 

Before he's left the gym, he sees Ryuu, and his mouth goes dry. Had Ryuu just overhead the entire... conversation.. in the locker room?

"If you ain't used lube, have you ever used like.. toys? Vibrators, man??? Shit to make you feel even better than it already does??"

He definitely overhead it.

Kei wants to melt into the floor. He has never wanted to disappear so much as he wants to disappear right now.

Ryuu's closed the space between him, dark eyes glimmering as he takes Kei's hand.

"I'm gon' learn you today, man. There's a whole fuckin' world outside of your hand, and it's my responsibility to teach y--"

"No. Absolutely not. Please let go of my hand. This is creepy. This is awful and I hate everyone." 

He tries, and fails, to pretend that he didn't see Ryuu go into the locker room where he'd left Koushi. Kei leaves the gym full of regret, but strangely warm in a way that warrants an actual shower later. He still doesn't have lube, after all. 

\---

"So then he said I was creepy and he hated me and he left!"

Ryuu exclaims, exasperated, flopping his head into Koushi's lap and staring up at him with doe eyes that Koushi is annoyingly endeared by.

"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping, though..." Koushi begins, but as he usually does, Ryuu interrupts. 

"But I heard you earlier and, man, I gotta help that kid out! I bet you he hasn't even kissed anyone!" 

Koushi pauses at that, and then swallows heavily. Thinking of Kei kissing someone has him starting to picture it, and he shakes his head to clear the image, only to find Ryuu smirking up at him. For being a loudmouth, Ryuu is awfully perceptive, and Koushi knows he's been seen clear through.

"Call Gucci, mayne." Ryuu snorts out the command through peals of laughter, and Koushi pulls his phone out, dialing Tadashi before putting the phone on speaker.

"Hello...?" He sounds like he's just woken up from a nap, and Koushi smiles lopsidedly at the realization.

"Has Tsukishima ever kissed anyone?" Ryuu gets to the question right off the bat, and they hear the other end of the line catch, as if Tadashi has inhaled hard and fast.

"Uhm... me..." Tadashi squeaks, and then they're all quiet before Ryuu whoops and Koushi shushes him, because he can practically hear Tadashi blushing on the other end.

"Well. What do you say to us all... teaching him the ropes?"

\---

That night, laying in bed, Kei thinks about his day and tries to ignore the heavy feeling of dread in his stomach, and he wonders if he's sneezed so many times this evening because his name has been on someone else's tongue.

\---

"Wanna have a sleepover, Tsukki? It's Friday, y'know!"

"No."

"Pleaseeee~?"

"I'm angry with you. I can't believe you t--"

"Tsukki, I didn't mean to, okay! We can make shortcake together! Or I'll make it for you and you can eat all of it. We can watch Jurassic Park, it's been on TV a lot lately!" 

"... Will it be on this time of night?"

"Yes!"

"I'm only coming over for the Jurassic Park. And the food. Not you. I'm mad at you."

Tadashi beams, turns, and gives a thumbs up behind his back to where Koushi and Ryuu stand behind them beneath the gym's overhang.

\---

Later that night, while Kei is leaning back against the couch, properly sated with cake and dinosaurs, Tadashi scoots a little closer to him and kisses his cheek. Kei eyes him warily, but doesn't move away; somehow, someway, Tadashi has made kissing a little more commonplace between them, and so he's managed to train Kei into not spooking like a small hamster might.

Pressing a kiss closer to his mouth this time, he knows he's not imagining the way that Kei turns his head some, and when he kisses him it tastes like sugar and fruit and also the chocolate milk that Tadashi had made with the Hershey's syrup in the fridge.

Pulling back from Kei's face, Tadashi looks at the blonde's face, looks at the way the blush is splotchy and ruddy on his cheekbones and also on his ears, how he can't make eye contact when he's embarrassed, and then he pops the question of the night. Not the question, because they aren't there yet obviously, but he pops a question.

"Can Suga-san and Tanaka-san come over?"

Kei freezes. He likes routine, most of the time, and having anyone else visit during their Friday night sleepover things is like sinning in church (but maybe less frequent, Tadashi thinks). Tadashi scoots impossibly closer, poking Kei's hand and his thigh and maybe touching a little close to his zipper.

"... Why now..." Kei may be clueless about sex, but he isn't clueless about everything, and he's distinctly aware that those two people were involved in his journey to sex education, and he doesn't know if he wants to face them right now.

".. Because?" Tadashi says, and Kei knows he's lying from the way that his lips go a little still after he speaks.

"Because why." 

"Because they're at the door?" 

Kei growls, but he's not really mad (Tadashi hopes), and then Tadashi hops off the couch, goes to the door, and Kei can hear Ryuu's voice the minute he's past the threshold.

"Movie night I brought the animated dinosaur movie with the meteors let's fuckin' GO," Ryuu shouts, and although Kei won't refuse the movie, he wants to refuse the company, because now he's thinking about his and Ryuu's last discussion, and he's thinking about Ryuu owning those toys he talked about (Kei wishes he knew what they were, so he could picture them), and then he's thinking about Ryuu naked, and he already had this crisis about thinking of Koushi naked and masturbating while he was having his shower crisis yesterday, and...

Everything is a crisis right now. Kei sinks into the couch, glares at where the three people enter, and then stares at the television.

"Just put it in already." He mutters, ignoring the way everyone else's faces get red, because all he's doing is referencing the DVD.

\---

It's about halfway through the movie when Kei begins to notice things are getting weird. Tadashi is cuddled up to him, but that's become kind of normal by now, or at least lately it has been, but Koushi is on his other side, and he's a little close, too. Close enough that Kei can feel his breath on his neck, and it's making his skin start to break out in goosebumps, and it's also making him warm.

Also, Ryuu, who started on the beanbag on the floor, has been leaning back gradually and now his closely shaved head is nestled between Kei's knees, and Kei is realizing very slowly that he is becoming either a human pillow, or something is going on.

From the furtive glances he catches going between Koushi and Tadashi, it's the latter.

"What is going on here...." He says, and every single occupant of the room, barring himself, freezes. Maybe even Tadashi's cat. 

"I said," He begins, ready to parrot himself, and then suddenly Koushi speaks up.

"Well... the three of us were talking and.. we... wouldn't mind teaching you."

"I'm perfectly content with my grades, if anyone needs help, go talk to the idiot king a--"

"Not academic teaching, man!" Ryuu's turned so that he can face Kei now.

"I'm perfectly content with having volleyball practice every single day, I don't need more tutori--"

"We want to teach you about the stuff we talked about." Tadashi says, and then it begins to dawn on Kei, and his eyes widen. His brain shorts out. His fingers tingle and he imagines his glasses are fogging up and for the first time he can remember he doesn't know what's going on in the masterpiece of animation on the television.

"You.. guys.. me...." He tries to articulate unsuccessfully, and he licks his lips, and wonders when his mouth started to feel like sandpaper.

Then Tadashi is kissing him, and Kei tries to breathe in, only to find his mouth full of tongue and wet again and not really sandpaper-y anymore. He's trying to think past the kiss, but he can't, at least not until he feels a hand slip up his shirt, soft with long fingers, and rub circles into his sides. He's suddenly hypersensitive, hyperaware of everything that's going on, and he's aware of the fact that he's getting warm in all of the wrong places.

"Kei," The use of his first name is not lost on him when Koushi speaks up, "Is this alright?" Kei tries to answer, but he's really, really aware of how close Ryuu's head is to his crotch.

With Tadashi away from his mouth, Kei can speak again, and he mutters after a few seconds of hasty, probably going to be regretted, not well-thought-out thought, "Whatever." He can feel Tadashi's smile in the air, he swears, and then suddenly he's being picked up by Ryuu and being carried into Tadashi's bedroom (he hears Tadashi guiding behind him and he burns with the fact. Actually, he's just burning. He's probably going to have internal organ failure if his temperature goes any higher).

Ryuu puts him down surprisingly gently, and then he sees Koushi pulling out a backpack, and revealing its contents at the base of Tadashi's bed.

"Lube," He says, matter-of-factly, as he pulls out a small tube, "Condom," he continues, before adding, "Although we don't need that tonight," and then, "Vibrators. Which we also won't be using tonight, but Ryuu wanted you to have them anyways."

"They're new and unused, tags and all, I swear." Ryuu smirks, and Kei suddenly feels very, very overwhelmed. Sensing it, as usual, Tadashi crawls up besides him and tucks into his side.

"We don't have to, if you don't w--" He reassures him quietly.

"I said I would."

"Technically, you said whatev---" Ryuu pipes up.

"It's fine."

Tadashi's kissing him again now, and Koushi is kissing at the skin of his hips - when did his shirt go up? - and Ryuu is starting to undo his jeans. Kei's heart thunders in his chest and he squirms a little bit, and when everyone pauses, he flushes and waves his hand to go on. The jeans come off, and he's in his boxers now, and he's suddenly aware as the cold air hits his penis when the boxers come off that he is hard.

He is harder than he has ever been, and Ryuu's hands are on his hips, and Koushi's hands are under his shirt again touching his nipples, and did Tadashi just bite his lower lip?

Kei pulls back to breathe, chest heaving, and stares at Tadashi. His face must betray his nerves, because Tadashi kisses him softly.

"It's gonna be alright, Tsukki. Kei. It'll be okay, if you don't wanna, you can say stop, but..." 

"We just wanna give you a handie." Ryuu pipes in, and despite Koushi's glares at him, Kei is somewhat soothed. 

"A handjob." He confirms, and everyone nods simultaneously, and Kei feels like an idiot, but obviously an excitable idiot, because his hips shudder a little bit.

"I know how those work, though." He adds a few seconds later, because he does. Maybe he was doing them wrong, but..

"Show me how gay sex works."

Koushi chokes, shakes his head, and stammers, "D-defini... no... we're not...."

"You could finger him?" Tadashi says this, and the two oldest in the room nearly lose their heads, but then Kei says, "Do that," and he's spread out on the bed with long limbs and flushed face and a flushed cock and none of them can say no. 

It's weird, not being able to say no to Kei of all people, but they can't, and Tadashi is kissing him again and then someone's hand is on his dick - he thinks it's Koushi, but his glasses were pushed off at some point - and Ryuu is kissing his neck and touching his nipples and Kei is overwhelmed with it all. He bucks a little desperately when Koushi runs a thumb over the head of his erection, and then suddenly Tadashi's mouth is replaced with Ryuu's. Ryuu is a different kind of kisser, less languid and more intense, and Kei is enchanted and thrown off by it all the same. He finds himself moaning, now - is that really him? Is that a sex noise? He thought it was a fake movie noise - as Ryuu coaxes his mouth open again, battles with his tongue, and then Kei yanks his head back because---

"Cold!! That's my ass --- Tadashi... Cold!!"

"You didn't warm it first? You fucked up, dude," Ryuu laughs, and then swallows up Kei's next protest. It dies anyways, because Tadashi's got a finger inside of him, and then Kei's hands are scrabbling at the blanket and he's thrusting up into Koushi's hand, even though Koushi's free one is trying to keep his hips pinned down, and the second finger kind of burns and everything burns and then those fingers are crooked just right and something sets alight and he's seeing stars and when he murmurs, "again," against Ryuu's lips Tadashi complies and then---

Like a string pulled too tight, Kei snaps, and his vision goes white as he has the most intense orgasm that he's ever had. He feels Tadashi's fingers slip out of him, feels the freckled boy crawl up and put his head on Kei's still clothed chest, and he's vaguely aware that Koushi is washing off his hands while Ryuu is shifting around. Kei starts to fall asleep then and there, not really thinking of much, and when he refocuses in because of Koushi's head on his chest, he realizes that he's lying in Ryuu's lap.

For a while, it's just their breathing that fills the silence of the room, but then Tadashi questions him nervously.

"W... was that okay, Tsukki.. Kei..?" 

"Mmmhmmm." 

"Are you sure?" This time, it's Koushi.

"Not if you keep asking," Kei mutters, sass not leaving him even in exhaustion and satiation.

"You feelin' educated?" Ryuu snorts, and Kei uses the last little bit of energy, even with half-opened eyes, to tilt his head back.

"It's... stickier. Than the shower."

The last thing he catches before he dozes off is the sound of their laughter.


End file.
